LMRC

a couple days after closing the deal on the house, i was here with cleaning materials, wiping out EVERY cabinet, drawer, shelf, counter, etc

i had finished the kitchen and bathrooms and the back bedroom
i went to the master bedroom and was standing on a chair to reach the back corners of the closet shelves with my sponge and there....

way in the back.....

was a small pile of .....

shit

old receipts, tags of clothes and instruction manuals for glucose monitors and crap like that
i think---wow thanks for cleaning out all the garbage assholes

i scoop it all up and bring it to the trash basket in the kitchen and toss it

i notice a couple thick envelopes and pull them out
they're sealed bank envelopes and i think to myself---wishful thinking kiddo

i open the first one
sure enough
its full of

twenties
omfg
omfg
OMFG

the second one is as well, with a couple tens and fives
one thousand thirty dollars

i immediately call melodie and say what do i do???
YOU ARE NOT GIVING IT TO THOSE PEOPLE

well
no of course not
silly

i go back thru the house checking every corner and crevice again
look for anything that might be a secret hideaway

AND
AND

nothing else

but shitshitshit
a thousand thirty dollars!!!!