Friday, July 16, 2004
this story is known by many already
i tell it now in support of someone in particular
love is a very strange thing
often we fall in love with people that are totally wrong for us
but our heads cant dictate to our hearts
manuel was a hot frycook at the chinese restaurant where i was working parttime for extra cash
melodie and maryjean convinced me to work there, so i guess all that follows is THEIR fault, lol
i told mel i'd have him and she refused to believe it
he was 'obviously straight'
whatever---i have had many a 'straight' man
it began innocently enough
i began visiting him after work, tossing back beers, etc
fast forward a few months
manuel moves in with me
one day after i get off from my day job, he tells me "you're gonna be mad at me"
omg
omfg
"i took some money from your*hiding place*"(he musta really searched to find it too)"and spent it on drugs"
what kind of drugs?
crack
yes my hunky latino was(is) a crack addict
i thought i could help him/cure him/whatever
i didnt realize he was an addict at first/i'd had no experience with this drug
i even tried it with him(it was my money he'd used after all)
over the next several months, when he'd fall off the wagon and buy, i'd partake, but i never really cared for it
my drug of choice was pot
(i am drug-free now except for prescription meds necessary for life)
i then learned what happens when the addict cant afford his next fix
things disappear from the house
then when you put a stop to that or they run out of things to steal from you they wake you in the middle of the night and hurt you till you give them money
they take your car without asking while you sleep to go to crack houses
they kidnap you and drag you to crack houses
they try to strangle you when you try to get away from them
they mentally beat you till the stockholm syndrome takes over
maybe its some other, jj would know
the problem is we cant stop loving them
i paid for mine to move cross country, but at first i meant to go join him
i cannot imagine the life i would be living if i had
thank god i am free
dear friend, if you need me i am here
i KNOW what you are going through
i am not saying to throw away the relationship
that isnt something anyone can decide for you
but if it gets to the point of physical abuse, you must do something
dont let another's problems kill you
i was never addicted to crack, but i was addicted to pot, tobacco, and alcohol
i am free of those
it feels good
the crack addict wants to be free too
but only they can free themselves
we cannot do it for them
we cannot will it
when it comes down to addiction, the drug is more important to them than anything, even you
and it hurts
it hurts
he still calls
i try to avoid talking to him
i dont want to feel that
i hate him
and i love him
(mel is groaning now)
i dont answer his calls until he calls my folks and they wanna know why i wont talk to him, blahblahblah
there is too much they dont know
man, i feel as though ive written a lot, but written nothing
but i AM here
all your friends love you
dont be afraid to lean on us
i tell it now in support of someone in particular
love is a very strange thing
often we fall in love with people that are totally wrong for us
but our heads cant dictate to our hearts
manuel was a hot frycook at the chinese restaurant where i was working parttime for extra cash
melodie and maryjean convinced me to work there, so i guess all that follows is THEIR fault, lol
i told mel i'd have him and she refused to believe it
he was 'obviously straight'
whatever---i have had many a 'straight' man
it began innocently enough
i began visiting him after work, tossing back beers, etc
fast forward a few months
manuel moves in with me
one day after i get off from my day job, he tells me "you're gonna be mad at me"
omg
omfg
"i took some money from your*hiding place*"(he musta really searched to find it too)"and spent it on drugs"
what kind of drugs?
crack
yes my hunky latino was(is) a crack addict
i thought i could help him/cure him/whatever
i didnt realize he was an addict at first/i'd had no experience with this drug
i even tried it with him(it was my money he'd used after all)
over the next several months, when he'd fall off the wagon and buy, i'd partake, but i never really cared for it
my drug of choice was pot
(i am drug-free now except for prescription meds necessary for life)
i then learned what happens when the addict cant afford his next fix
things disappear from the house
then when you put a stop to that or they run out of things to steal from you they wake you in the middle of the night and hurt you till you give them money
they take your car without asking while you sleep to go to crack houses
they kidnap you and drag you to crack houses
they try to strangle you when you try to get away from them
they mentally beat you till the stockholm syndrome takes over
maybe its some other, jj would know
the problem is we cant stop loving them
i paid for mine to move cross country, but at first i meant to go join him
i cannot imagine the life i would be living if i had
thank god i am free
dear friend, if you need me i am here
i KNOW what you are going through
i am not saying to throw away the relationship
that isnt something anyone can decide for you
but if it gets to the point of physical abuse, you must do something
dont let another's problems kill you
i was never addicted to crack, but i was addicted to pot, tobacco, and alcohol
i am free of those
it feels good
the crack addict wants to be free too
but only they can free themselves
we cannot do it for them
we cannot will it
when it comes down to addiction, the drug is more important to them than anything, even you
and it hurts
it hurts
he still calls
i try to avoid talking to him
i dont want to feel that
i hate him
and i love him
(mel is groaning now)
i dont answer his calls until he calls my folks and they wanna know why i wont talk to him, blahblahblah
there is too much they dont know
man, i feel as though ive written a lot, but written nothing
but i AM here
all your friends love you
dont be afraid to lean on us
