Thursday, August 28, 2003
OK I am OK
that's what i keep telling myself
ever since i rounded the corner just past the thirties, my body has just been falling apart
i already go the doctor every 4 months because of emphysema, which i was diagnosed with at age 38 (2 years ago), so it really pisses me off to have to go in extra times for stuff, ya know?
plus sometimes i feel as though i am a hypochondriac(you should see my medicine cabinet, lol)
well i have a bleeding ulcer, or so i was told in june, with the qualifer that if the prevacid($125 for 30 pills) didnt do the trick we might need to have a colonoscopy....
well i saw blood again two days in a row---the yucky tarry black stinky kind that has been in the gut for a while....but wait that's not all...in july i started to have off and on numbness in my lower right leg from the ankle to the knee, as in it would come and go repeatedly throughout the day, but only when i was on my feet, not while sitting or laying in bed---until this past weekend
suddenly the numbness comes and goes regardless of whether i am standing or sitting or lying about AND it is now also in my lower right arm from my wrist to my elbow AND then scariest of all---my face and scalp
my first fear is that it is a stroke so i whip out the medical book and i dont have other tell-tale symptoms so i bravely decide to wait till monday and call the doctor rather than do the emergency room thing (i was scared of being admitted)
then monday things are getting still worse and i now have back pain and nausea along with all the other stuff! and of course headaches---plus i am peeing every few minutes
if i were a farm animal i'd be put down, not even fit for human consumption---maybe not even dog food
urine test revealed nothing, no bacteria or sugar or anything---just plain pee
blood was taken of course, with the expectation that it would show that i was anemic(due to the internal bleeding) and that would explain the numbness
my prostate(dont you love that exam? especially when your doctor is your cousin?) is slightly swollen which could be why all the peeing
and oh yes, we need to schedule that colonoscopy to make sure that that blood is just from the ulcer
blood tests show nothing wrong, except for a slight elevation of wbc
today i start having painful urination and at first i also hurt internally above the groin and i think kidney stones, since my dad has suffered with them for as long as i can remember
i call and talk to Dr.Double Cousin and he says that would explain the back pain and the nausea and if a stone had moved around and cut me up it could explain the wbc count---he said call tomorrow if i still hurt and we will do an ultrasound to see if it is a stone
but now i've stopped hurting and still am peeing constantly and my urethra is so very sore i think it is cystitis
what next?
and to top it all off, i'm getting really depressed because i dont want to whine to my friends because noah has already put everyone through the wringer with his cancer---how can i bitch about all these irritating annoyances??
so i have stayed away from everyone so that i dont get asked a bunch of questions cuz i know i'll spill
please god let tomorrow be better
that's what i keep telling myself
ever since i rounded the corner just past the thirties, my body has just been falling apart
i already go the doctor every 4 months because of emphysema, which i was diagnosed with at age 38 (2 years ago), so it really pisses me off to have to go in extra times for stuff, ya know?
plus sometimes i feel as though i am a hypochondriac(you should see my medicine cabinet, lol)
well i have a bleeding ulcer, or so i was told in june, with the qualifer that if the prevacid($125 for 30 pills) didnt do the trick we might need to have a colonoscopy....
well i saw blood again two days in a row---the yucky tarry black stinky kind that has been in the gut for a while....but wait that's not all...in july i started to have off and on numbness in my lower right leg from the ankle to the knee, as in it would come and go repeatedly throughout the day, but only when i was on my feet, not while sitting or laying in bed---until this past weekend
suddenly the numbness comes and goes regardless of whether i am standing or sitting or lying about AND it is now also in my lower right arm from my wrist to my elbow AND then scariest of all---my face and scalp
my first fear is that it is a stroke so i whip out the medical book and i dont have other tell-tale symptoms so i bravely decide to wait till monday and call the doctor rather than do the emergency room thing (i was scared of being admitted)
then monday things are getting still worse and i now have back pain and nausea along with all the other stuff! and of course headaches---plus i am peeing every few minutes
if i were a farm animal i'd be put down, not even fit for human consumption---maybe not even dog food
urine test revealed nothing, no bacteria or sugar or anything---just plain pee
blood was taken of course, with the expectation that it would show that i was anemic(due to the internal bleeding) and that would explain the numbness
my prostate(dont you love that exam? especially when your doctor is your cousin?) is slightly swollen which could be why all the peeing
and oh yes, we need to schedule that colonoscopy to make sure that that blood is just from the ulcer
blood tests show nothing wrong, except for a slight elevation of wbc
today i start having painful urination and at first i also hurt internally above the groin and i think kidney stones, since my dad has suffered with them for as long as i can remember
i call and talk to Dr.Double Cousin and he says that would explain the back pain and the nausea and if a stone had moved around and cut me up it could explain the wbc count---he said call tomorrow if i still hurt and we will do an ultrasound to see if it is a stone
but now i've stopped hurting and still am peeing constantly and my urethra is so very sore i think it is cystitis
what next?
and to top it all off, i'm getting really depressed because i dont want to whine to my friends because noah has already put everyone through the wringer with his cancer---how can i bitch about all these irritating annoyances??
so i have stayed away from everyone so that i dont get asked a bunch of questions cuz i know i'll spill
please god let tomorrow be better
